IELTS Writing Samples - Essays
Here you can find IELTS Essay samples of Band 8, written by students and graded by an IELTS teacher.

Ielts writing samples - Essays

Last updated: October 27, 2020

The topic of each essay appears when you hold the mouse over the link. Every essay is checked, marked, has comments and suggestions. Hold the mouse over underlined words in blue to see suggested corrections. The teacher’s summary is at the bottom of each essay.

IELTS Essay, Topic: Computers Instead of Teachers

With the advancement in technology, the use of computers has increased more than ever before in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. To what extent do you agree?

There is no doubt that education and the learning process have undergone a drastic change since the introduction of computers: the search for any information has become easier and amusing through the help of audio visual applications in software. Even though experts systems have made computers more intelligent, they have not yet become a substitute of the human interaction in the learning process. In my opinion what can be expected is a change in the teachers’ role, but not their disappearance from the classroom.

It is irrefutably true that the acquisition of knowledge is more fun and easier with computers. The mere activity of touching and exploring this device provides an amusing experience for a child, which in turn contributes to a better grasping of new knowledge. Especially for students at secondary and post secondary level of education, the availability of digital books, simulators and other academic materials provide an ever accessible source of information, that otherwise would not be available.

The use of computers in schools is to enable students to learn and understand difficult concepts in both class and at home by referring to YouTube videos, E learning platforms and audio books online. However, these digital platforms are invented for schoolchildren to make references, understand problematic concepts which sometimes need reinforcement for better comprehension thereby making it easier for the learners to grasp and improve their knowledge. One such example is the use of YouTube videos played in classrooms during science sessions to make pupils study both theory and practical lessons effectively as it is easier to remember visual content than memorizing theory.

Furthermore, human relations is a very important aspect of human life which cannot be replaced with processors or digital products. Teachers, being present in the classroom, offer that comfort and provide an easy connection to understand and relate to learning concepts. The role of mentors, I consider, is irreplaceable as far as schooling is concerned. The teachers have the ability to relate to the unique needs of the pupils. They easily recognize the moods, emotions and feelings attached to their disciples whenever pupils are absent minded in class. Teachers act as temporary parents and students spend most of their waking time with them.

In conclusion, most people will agree to the fact that the world is advancing fast in technology and thus humans should be prepared to give up their roles in the near future but teachers as mentors will always be needed for any society to flourish.

IELTS Essay, topic: Events bringing people together

Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

The world cup championship is organized every four years which is the most awaited year for every nation as it brings togetherness and unity among people of different language, culture and colors. During these events the whole world stops to watch international sporting events such as the Olympics and the Football World Cup in which athletes showcase their best performance to make their country proud. These sporting occasions have proved to be of immense help in easing international tension in unfavorable times due to border issues.

During this sporting activity, people travel from all over the world to one place or country to support and watch these players, thereby promoting universalism, peace, love and understanding among them which is important in easing global tension and freeing patriotic feelings. For instance, 2018 FiFA world cup, hosted in Russia as the 21st FIFA worldwide tournament saw the participation of 32 teams from the same number of nations which ended beautifully as France won the cup. The celebration alone from the French people in Russia was amazing as people from all over the world joined in dancing, clapping, jumping and expressing their affection and happiness.

These events are purposefully organized to promote international unity and make people realize we are all one irrespective of color or race. More importantly to stop wars and other negative perceptions that drive hate among people worldwide. In my opinion, such sports should be organized at a regular interval so as to always sense the need for human relations and devotedness towards our various place of origins. The gleaming joy on the faces of the spectators shows that these tournaments are simply amazing and memorable to the viewers.

In conclusion, popular sporting events continue to play an important role in resolving international tensions and liberating patriotic feelings.

IELTS Essay, Topic: Computers Instead of Teachers

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. Some say that the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. In my opinion, the aid of wealthy countries is imperative to fight poverty in developing nations.

Today’s world has been divided into developing and industrialised countries which the main difference between them is the amount of money that governments apply in important sectors such as education, health and commerce. Most of the poorer nations are buried in debts as a result of their unbalanced finances which are reflect in a failed health care, an unstructured education system and a weak international trade. This vicious cycle will continue indefinitely unless wealthier nations show interest in minimizing the worldwide economic differences, as well as taking more responsibility for assisting less fortunate countries.

Most of the African countries live in sub-human conditions because of the extreme poverty, upheaval, hunger, disease, unemployment, lack of education and both inexperienced and corrupt administrations. The devastating consequences of the AIDS epidemic in those countries could improve if the infected population were to receive free drugs to control the disease, have access to health professionals and get information on how to prevent its spread. But this can only be achieved through international help programs in which leaders of the world’s richest countries donate medicine and also send doctors and nurses to treat and educate those in need.

Moreover, most of the poor countries rely on selling agricultural products and raw materials to rich nations and buying industrialized products from them resulting in a huge financial deficit. Consequently, they borrow a significant amount of money from the World Bank to try to improve their broken economies, but sometimes the money disappears with no significant changes and they cannot even pay the interest to the bank. Recognising this as an issue that wealthy countries can resolve, last year the G8, which is comprised of leaders of the eight richest nations, decided to forgive billions of dollars worth of debt owed by the world’s poorest nations. In addition, they developed adequate loan programs to financially assist those countries.

In conclusion, leaders of the industrialised countries play an indispensable role in assisting developing nations in dealing with essential areas such as health, education and trade. Their aid is the key to breaking the vicious cycle poorer countries are locked in, which results in poverty and death.

This is a great essay, seems to be on a Band 8 level, there’s nothing to improve here.

IELTS Essay, topic: Computers replacing teachers

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people’s lives, especially in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of students rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of teachers in the classroom.

Some people believe the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some students to progress in their studies quicker compared to studies in an original classroom. For example, in the same classroom, students have different intellectual capacities, thus some would be tied to a slow advance in their studies because of others’ incapability of understanding. In this way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers instead of learning from teachers.

However, the presence of a teacher is essential for students because the human contact influences them in positive ways. Firstly, students realize that they are not dealing with a machine but with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They also learn the importance of studying in a group and respect for other students, which helps them improve their social skills.

Moreover, teachers are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor. Hence, students can have a better chance of avoiding a failure in a subject.

In conclusion, the role for teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be such in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences.

This is a great essay. Seems worthy of Band 8. No improvements are necessary, keep up the good work!

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IELTS Essay, topic: Computers replacing teachers

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people’s lives, especially in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of students rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of teachers in the classroom.

Some people believe the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some students to progress in their studies quicker compared to studies in an original classroom. For example, in the same classroom, students have different intellectual capacities, thus some would be tied to a slow advance in their studies because of others’ incapability of understanding. In this way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers instead of learning from teachers.

However, the presence of a teacher is essential for students because the human contact influences them in positive ways. Firstly, students realize that they are not dealing with a machine but with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They also learn the importance of studying in a group and respect for other students, which helps them improve their social skills.

Moreover, teachers are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor. Hence, students can have a better chance of avoiding a failure in a subject.

In conclusion, the role for teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be such in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences.

This is a great essay. Seems worthy of Band 8. No improvements are necessary, keep up the good work!

IELTS Essay, topic: The advantages and disadvantages of globalization

Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Globalization is such a commonly used term in the twentieth century. It simply means that the world has become integrated economically, socially, politically and culturally through the advances of technology, transportation and communication. It is undeniable that globalization has resulted in both positive and negative effects which must be addressed accordingly.

To begin with, globalization has contributed to the world’s economies in many beneficial ways. The advances in science and technology have allowed businesses to easily cross over territorial boundary lines. Consequently, companies tend to become more productive and competitive thereby raising the quality of goods, services and the world’s living standard.

Secondly, several companies from the more developed countries have already ventured to establish foreign operations or branches to take advantage of the low cost of labor in the poorer countries. This kind of business activity will provide more influx of cash or investment funds into the less developed countries.

However, one cannot deny the negative effects which have derived from globalization. One crucial social aspect is the risk and danger of epidemic diseases which can easily be spread as the transportation becomes easier and faster in today’s advanced society. This is evidenced in the recent birds flu disease which has infected most Asian countries over a short period of time.

As large corporations invest or take over many offshore businesses, a modern form of colonization will also evolve which may pose certain power pressure on the local governments of the less developed countries. Unemployment rates in the more developed regions such as Europe may also escalate as corporations choose to outsource to the cheaper work force from Asian countries.

In conclusion. I like to reiterate that globalization is inevitable and we must urge individuals, companies and governments to use a more balanced approach by taking the appropriate steps to deal with matters relating to the financial or economical gains verses the social, political or ecological concerns of the world.

This essay is too long, 318 words instead of 250-265. Otherwise (except for some minor grammatical errors) it is a very nice work. It covers the task, has the right structure, the paragraphs are coherent and are logically connected by elegantly used linking words, the structure of sentences is fine and so is your vocabulary. Seems worthy of Band 7.5 or 8.

IELTS Essay, topic: children and rules

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

The extent to which children have to follow rules is in itself a very complex issue, since children across the world grow up in very different cultures. In India for example, children are expected to be very submissive to their parents as well as other adults around them. This, however, is not the case with the Western countries of the world where children follow the motto ‘Thou shalt do what thou wilt’ as promoted by celebrities and rock stars. I believe that following strict rules has both advantages as well as serious drawbacks as discussed below.

Firstly, strict rules of behavior create responsible and respectful children who in turn mature into respectful adults. This forms a stable society which is virtually free from negative trends such as prostitution and drug abuse. Secondly, if children do not follow strict rules of behavior, they may get out of hand and become work-shy and indolent. This may then create a burden on the society since the government has to find ways to cater for these social ills.

However, forcing children to follow strict rules of behavior doesn’t always yield positive results as discussed above, most of the time it backfires and works against society. For example, teenagers are more likely to do the opposite of what they’re told to do simply because they want to be independent. Children should also have rights to exercise their free will and develop their own pattern of behaviors. Imposing strict rules may simply destroy the individuality of children.

At the end of the day, it is clear that children should be guided by rules, but these rules should not be imposed on them because as human beings, they need to have room to develop their own traits of character and adopt a behavioral pattern of their own.

This essay is too long (309 words instead of advised 250-265). Otherwise this work is a very good one; it covers the task, your position is clear, the ideas are well-organized, expressed, explained and supported. The sentences show a wide range of language structures, cohesive devices and your grammar is fine. Overall, this seems to be a band 7.5 or higher essay.

IELTS Essay, topic: the positive and the negative sides of globalization

Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

In the present age, globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives. But in the meantime whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate. Some people argue that globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while many others contend that it has a detrimental effect as well.

A convincing argument can be made about globalization not only playing a pivotal role in the development of technology and economy, but also promoting the cultural exchange between different countries. To start with, it is the globalization that impelled many corporate to become international groups, thereby making a contribution to the local technology and employment. Specifically, when a multinational group establish a factory in a developing country, the new equipment, the new management skills and the job vacancies are all in the best interest of the local society. Moreover, people worldwide can get to know each other better through globalization. It is easy to see that more and more Hollywood blockbusters show cultures different from American, some recent examples are ‘Kungfu Panda’ and ‘The Mummy’.

Admittedly, the profit driven side of globalization has severely affected young people. Today, in the metropolises in different countries, it is very common to see teenagers wearing NIKE T-shirts and Adidas footwear, playing Hip-Hop music on Apple iPods and eating at KFC. The culture that took a thousand years to form just seems similar in these cities; it seems as though you can only distinguish them by their language. Meanwhile, in some developing countries, sweat workshops are always a concerning issue. For instance, reports show that some teenagers employed by NIKE’s contractors work in smelly factories over 14 hours a day, but are only paid fifty cents per hour.

To sum up, I would concede that globalization does come with some adverse effects. Despite that fact, benefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I am convinced that we should further promote globalization and meanwhile the local government should take measures to combat culture assimilation and sweat workshops.

This essay is extremely long (338 words instead of the advised 250-265). It has a sound structure, your position is clearly expressed, the information is well-organized, and structure-wise the sentences are fine. The vocabulary is impressive and there were only a few grammatical errors (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this seems to be a band 7.5 + essay.

IELTS essay, topic: Should people spend a lot on weddings and birthday parties?

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Throwing parties can be expensive. While some people do not find these fancy gatherings worth what they cost, others believe such events are important to both individuals and the society.

People choose to throw parties for a number of reasons. For starters, they can make better teams. Project kick-off parties are good opportunities to break the ice and help team members to know each other better. Celebrating a victory create a sense of success and belonging. Companies do not see parties as wastes of money and allocate budget to support such events; moreover, they often leave good memories. From our own experiences, we all have happy memories of our birthday parties when we were little. Every family has great photos took at family gatherings in their album. In addition, contrary to what some people believe that spending on parties is a waste of social resources, they actually create value, either by employing people in the party-planning business or by offering people better experiences.

The popularity of parties, however, causes some tension in the society. They are hard on introverted people who find themselves uncomfortable in the crowd. This is a clinic symptom which psychologists call it “social anxiety disorder”. There are other ways to celebrate important events that may have greater value for their cost. For instance, companies could send out gifts after successful projects and parents could take their children on family trips to celebrate birthdays.

In my opinion, while a party is a form of social event that brings many benefits to individuals and the society, other choices should also be considered, either to cut spending or to relieve the stress of those who are not fond of crowded celebrations.

This is a very good essay. Other than minor inaccuracies there are no problems (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Seems to be worth IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Children should be engaged in paid work, agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

The issue of whether or not children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated debate. While some argue that having some employment experience is conducive to a child’s learning and development, I contend that it would bring harm to the child’s heath and learning.

First of all, a workplace designed for adults is normally shortage of child-friendly facilities. Desks and chairs are too high for a child; the light switches are installed on the walls unreachable by children; also emergency training and facilities such as phones are only provided to adults. Furthermore, various hazards such as polluted air and chemical fumes are still produced in factories and farms. Undoubtedly young people would suffer in such workplaces.

Also, children would find it frustrating when they are not properly inducted before starting a job. A child working in a cement factory would feel a setback when he could not get immediate support while struggling with the procedures of recording different raw materials that is required by the job. Further, without sufficient support, a child’s misunderstanding or inappropriately communicating with adults would only disappoint him and prevents him from active learning and interacting with other people.

To conclude, a child’s paid employment experience would lead to a negative impact on their health and active learning. However, recognizing the importance of children’s learning and their awareness of responsibility, it is advisable to encourage them to be involved in some volunteering opportunities where they can meaningfully learn and interact with other people with sufficient care and support in place for such jobs.

This is a good essay. There are only a few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections), but otherwise this work seems worthy of Band 7.5 or 8. Remember to always proofread your essay before submitting it. Keep up the good work!

IELTS essay, topic: Public libraries should only provide books, not videos or DVD, agree or disagree?

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

With the proliferation of high-tech media, some people hold that the public libraries would be rendered obsolete if they do not offer software, videos or DVDs to their users while other assert it’s only a waste of limited resources and the libraries should offer books only.

High-tech media is, in many ways, indeed superior to the books in terms of entertainment, attraction, and functionality. For instance, videos and DVDs function as a visual means to assist people to have a first-hand experience even though those people have not physically visited or seen the objects which are introduced in the books. Also, despite the audio-visual equipment would be prohibitive to install, the capital cost would be lowered by appealing to a sizable number of users.

 

More importantly, software could assist the library goers to access the Internet to update their knowledge on a daily basis; in contrast, books typically take multiple months to be published, which in turn render their contents outdated to some extent. In addition, upon learning that the computer literacy has become an essential skill recently, public libraries should take on the responsibility to educate its users how to operate a computer.

Furthermore, it is a common practice for most public libraries to share their resources via the Internet. In this way, even if one book of interest cannot be found in one library, the borrower still could locate the book from other libraries and then request the librarians to transfer the book to that particular library.

In conclusion, public libraries would benefit in multiple ways if they are equipped with the high-tech media.

This is a good essay. There are only a few errors indicating that the writer needs to take care with verbs, prepositions and sentence formation (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Overall, this work seems worthy of IELTS Band 8. Remember to always proofread your essay before submitting it. Keep up the good work!

IELTS essay, topic: Children these days are suffering from obesity, why and how can it be solved?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Nowadays, the increasing rate of overweight children and adults is a worldwide health issue. Obesity is a major problem which is increasing day by day in school going children. There are various reasons behind it. This essay will discuss the causes of obesity and offer some solutions.

The first cause of obesity is junk food. It is often seen that mostly children are fond of burgers, pizzas, noodles and coke. These types of foods are easily available to them in school canteens. Children love to purchase chips, chocholates, – ice-cream for lunch. Moreover, in this modern era, parents are working and they do not have time to cook at home. Parents often buy dinner for their children instead of preparing food at home. This calorie-rich diet is making children obese. This problem can be solved by teaching children to cook healthy foods for themselves and banning junk foods and fizzy drinks in schools. This diet can be replaced by milk, juice and fruits for lunch.

The second cause of obesity is sedentry life style. It is true that the use of computers and television is increasing in children. They spend most of their time watching television or playing video games on a computer. This technological advancement has reduced the level of physical activity in this specific age group. This issue can be resolved by encouraging children to do physical exercises. Parents can take their children to park to encourage playing with friends. Furthermore, schools can add sports in their curriculum to maintain physical fitness in their students.

To sum up, it is clear that main causes of obesity are unhealthy eating and not enough physical activities. This ailment can be prevented and treated by healthy eating habits and physical exercises.

This is a good essay. There are only a few minor errors that could have been easily prevented by proofreading this essay one last time before submission (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Overall, this work seems worthy of IELTS Band 8. Keep up the good work!

IELTS essay, topic: Schools should select students by their academic abilities, agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

Some people contend that mixed ability classes are more beneficial for children’s development than streaming them on the basis of judgement about their academic abilities. However, from my perspective, I disagree with this contention.

Admittedly, mixed ability classes provide a better environment for children’s all-round development. In such classes, children with different abilities study together and in turn they can learn from one another. From example, a student, who is good at academic study but weak in dancing or painting, can learn how to dance or paint form his peers. In this sense, mixed ability classes allow students to develop their abilities in different subjects instead of only academic abilities.

Despite the argument above, I believe streaming students brings more benefits to teachers and students. As for teachers, separating children with better academic abilities from others facilitates effective teaching. This practice helps teachers to control their students more conveniently and easily. Compared with mixed ability in which teacher should consider students’ differences when they are using teaching methodologies, streaming makes this situation simpler. To be more specific, students are at the same level of academic ability in a class, and in turn teachers can use the same methodologies for them all. In this way, the narrower the spread of ability in the class, the more convenient the teaching can be.

On top of this, steaming enables students to learn in an effective way. According to students’ different abilities, they are taught in different ways that are more suitable for them. In the top streams, students use more difficult materials, therefore, they can learn more. In sharp contrast, teachers can explain the material more slowly to those in bottom streams. Under this circumstance, students with different academic abilities can study effectively and efficiently.

In the final analysis, mixed ability classes are beneficial for students’ versatile development, but in my opinion, segregating students based on different academic ability is better for both teachers and students.

The writer presented a balanced discussion of the topic, effortlessly delivered in a form of a fluent, well-written IELTS essay. The arguments and reasoning are laid out in a coherent, logical way. A wide range of vocabulary is used in this work. There are very few spelling errors that could have been caught in an additional round of proofreading (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Keep up the good work! Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

The writer presented a balanced discussion of the topic, effortlessly delivered in a form of a fluent, well-written IELTS essay. The arguments and reasoning are laid out in a coherent, logical way. A wide range of vocabulary is used in this work. There are very few spelling errors that could have been caught in an additional round of proofreading (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Keep up the good work! Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Why do criminals commit another offence after being punished?

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

It is true that some criminals commit crimes again after they have been punished. While there are several reasons for this alarming trend, some effective measures can be taken by governments to tackle this problem.

There are two main reasons for re-offenders. Firstly, the prison system can make the situation worse. Criminals put together in prison and they make friends with other offenders. While they are locked up in prison, they do not have much to do there, and they would exchange information about what they have done before they came to the prison or they may plan crimes with other inmates. Secondly, offenders often do not have any other means of earning money. They are poor, uneducated and lacking skills needed to maintain a job. Also, a criminal record makes finding a job difficult as people usually avoid hiring ex-convict.

To solve this problem, governments should focus on rehabilitation of criminals rather than punishment. Above all, prisons need vocational training which makes inmates to prepare for life outside the prison. They can learn practical skills such as computer programming, car maintenance and graphic design. In this way, they can be hired for a position that requires this certain knowledge and skills. Community service is another way to reform offenders. Rather than being locked up in prison with other inmates, offenders can help society and become useful to their local community, and these activities would eliminate the negative influence that prisons can have.

In conclusion, it is true the re-offenders are one of the problems in our community; it can be solved by focusing rehabilitation rather than punishment itself.

This is a good essay. There are only a few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections), but otherwise this work seems worthy of Band 7.5 or 8. Remember to always proofread your essay before submitting it. Keep up the good work!

IELTS essay, topic: the development of technology causes traditional skills to die out, agree or disagree?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant impact on a nation’s traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that such impact is so extraordinary that it would make conventional skills and life styles obsolete. However, I believe they would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to modern ways of life, and innovative ideas for modern technologies.

First of all, traditional skills and ways of life are becoming an alternative solution to the problems caused by “mainstreamed” ways of life which are greatly influenced by modern technologies. For instance, a cozy restaurant where traditional, home-brewed beer is served, offers another experience to people who are bored with branded beers that have the same flavor and come out of mass production with new technologies. It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved, people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern ways of life, such traditional skills and ways of life would continue to have their place.

Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas to the development of modern technologies. For example, sparkled by how the word “Love” is traditionally knitted into a sweater by some ethnic minority women in some parts of Asia, some business managers from textile industry have developed some production lines by applying the traditional skills to Computer-Aided Designs (CAD). The products have boosted the companies’ sales which in turn have increased their investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies.

To conclude, traditional skills and life styles are increasingly becoming a useful alternative to the homogeneity brought by global applications of modern technologies. However, the evolution of technologies is a selection process, whereby some would become obsolete, but there is no doubt that some would thrive when their roles are appreciated.

This is a good essay. The requirements of the task statement are covered, the arguments make sense and are presented in a coherent, easy to follow way, the range of vocabulary is wide enough and the writer shows fluency and flexibility. There are only a few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Overall this looks like an IELTS Band 8 essay.

IELTS essay, topic: should unpaid community work be mandatory in high school (agree/disagree)?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that voluntary services like charity, cleaning the neighborhood, imparting knowledge to the underprivileged, etc. should be made mandatory in the high school curriculum. I strongly agree to this as it not only helps in students becoming socially responsible adults but also in shaping their character.

Firstly, community service inculcates a sense of responsibility towards the society, something that is needed to shape a good society. For instance, the introduction of Swatch Bharath scheme in my school, The Hyderabad Public School, ten years ago taught me not only to keep the surroundings of the school clean but also to never litter wherever I go. Hence, now I feel responsible to maintain cleanliness everywhere. Such services are needed to develop a better society in the future.

Secondly, voluntary services cater to the overall character development of an individual. It inculcates a feeling of empathy in children which is needed to build a better character. For example, an alumnus of Montessori High School, who indulged in petty law-breaking activities during school confessed that it was the charity service that he did in high school; which engraved deep ideas and thoughts in his mind; helped him in becoming a better person for his family and refrained him from committing socially irresponsible acts. Thus, such voluntary activities teach us to value what we have and in turn contributes to our personality development.

That being said, we cannot deny the fact that many students misuse the time allocated for these services by considering it as an excursion to enjoy with friends rather than a learning experience.

In conclusion, although compulsory voluntary community service has its drawbacks, it is still useful in shaping a child as a socially responsible citizen and also in their overall personality development. Therefore, pupils should be encouraged to involve themselves in such activities.

This is a well written essay. It addresses all parts of the task and the arguments and ideas are developed and supported. The information is presented in a logical order and the ideas are linked by appropriate connective words. The use of vocabulary conveys the exact meaning of the writer and there are only minor instances of a word being used somewhat unnaturally. Sentence formation demonstrates a high level of control and very few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Overall this essay seems good enough for IELTS Band 8 level.

IELTS essay, topic: should children grow up in the city or countryside (advantages/disadvantages)?

Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

Living in the rural area is thought as the best option for children by a group of people, while others believe that cities offer more opportunities. In my opinion, if the city offers security and green areas, I agree it is a better place to raise the next generation enjoying some advantages from both sides.

Firstly, the countryside let children be in touch with nature, taking care of animals and helping with the gardening. Because of that, they learn how to protect the environment and to live without any technological equipment. Besides that, they have more freedom to play outside the house without any security worries, whereas in the city they are kept at home using smartphones and computers for this reason. On the other hand, schools usually have lower quality and it is hard to find extracurricular classes. Therefore, children have difficulties trying to develop their abilities besides the school curriculum.

However, schools at metropolitan areas tend to have better quality and offer all kinds of activities. Even if there is a sport or an art course that the institution does not offer, it is possible to look for it in another place around the city. As a result, all children’s talents and passions can be easier to develop. On the other hand, security, pollution and low contact with nature are issues that we have to worry about. The better option would be a city with an excellent quality of life where children could play in parks and gardens.

To sum up, growing up in the countryside can be very positive for someone’s childhood, but the city will usually offer better opportunities for their talents’ development.

This is a well written essay. It talks about all parts of the task and the arguments and ideas are extended and supported by some examples. The information is sequenced in a logical way and most of the ideas are linked using appropriate connective words. The choice of vocabulary is suitable to express the meaning of the writer, though in some instances word choice can be improved further (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Most sentences are error-free and demonstrate various levels of complexity. Overall this essay seems good enough to deserve IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research (discuss)

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views on how medical research should be conducted and tested. Although many people support the use of animal experimentations for developing medicines, I personally believe that animal testing is morally wrong.

The main reason why some people value animal experimentations to conduct medical research is because animal testing has contributed to many life-saving cures and treatments. It is true that nearly every medical breakthrough in the last 100 years has resulted directly from research using animals. For example, experiments in which dogs had their pancreases removed led directly to the discovery of insulin, critical to saving the lives of diabetics. Furthermore, it is impossible to release new drugs to the market before proving it has no harm to humans and laboratory mice are appropriate research subjects because they are similar to human beings in many ways.

However, I support with people who consider medical development that involved the use of animals is cruel and unacceptable. I believe that the lives of all creatures should be respected and we, humans, have no right to suffer animals for our own benefits. Governments should invest in developing alternative methods that can replace using animal experimentations when doing medical research. For example, a software program can be developed to model a human immune system and new drugs can be tested on the software rather than animals. In this way, no animals will suffer from the medical tests and the society can still benefit from medical development.

In conclusion, although it is undoubtedly true that animal testing has helped scientists in drug developments and medical discoveries, I believe that the benefits to humans do not justify the suffering caused to animals and we should use alternative methods when doing medical research that do not involve animals suffering.

This is a great essay. It addresses the two sides of the argument by exploring reasons why animals should and should not be used in medical research. The ideas are well explained and supported by examples. The use of paragraphing is efficient and helps with logical sequencing of ideas. Linking words are used appropriately to achieve the necessary cohesion. Author’s meaning is skillfully conveyed by the use of wide range of vocabulary. Even though there are some inaccurately used expressions, they don’t hinder understanding. Most sentences are error-free, instances of faulty grammar are rare. Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Museums are educational places which are beneficial for people in societies. However, these days, people have to pay an entrance fee to enter many museums. Although this phenomenon can lead to negative effects, I believe that there are for more positive effects.

It cannot be denied that price of tickets can bring about detrimental impacts to people, societies, and the museums themselves. From people’s perspective, they are discouraged to visit the museum and not able to access useful information and knowledge freely, particularly the poor because they cannot afford such amount. From societies’ perspective, citizens have fewer opportunities to access vitally significant places to learn history, science, art, and many other essential subjects. From museums’ perspective, they cannot attain one of their objectives to educate people. Moreover, they may have to close down as they lose more of their customers.

Despite aforementioned disadvantages, I am convinced that to charge for admission figures brings about a myriad of advantages. Firstly, museums will have money to operate which covers their business overhead such as personnel cost, equipments, electricity and water bills. Secondly, the museums can generate their own revenue to improve the place effectively to attract people, for example, to update their exhibits and keep the place clean and good-looking. Having visited many museums myself, I have learnt that many museums which sell tickets are better than those that do not charge for tickets in terms of places, information, and management.

In conclusion, although I recognize that the museums ticket sales can cause drawbacks to stakeholders in societies, I believe that museums should not remain free for all so as to be operated and developed most effectively.

This is a great example of a Band 8 essay. The test-taker covered both the advantages and the disadvantages of museums charging an admission fee. The ideas are conveyed, extended and supported with relevant examples. The order in which the information is presented makes sense, and there is sufficient use of linking words. The range of vocabulary is impressive. Even though there are some instances of less-than-accurate word choice, most of this essay is error-free. Grammatical errors are also rare here. All in all, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Many believe that international tourism is bad for their country (reasons and solutions)

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Many individuals think that foreign tourism brings negative effects to their countries. There are several reasons for such negative attitude towards international travelers. However, a couple of solutions could be adopted to handle this situation, as will now be discussed.

International tourists are often criticized for their contribution to the environmental degradation. It has continuously been noticed that they throw rubbish in their surroundings irresponsibly, which increases the amount of litter everywhere, despite all attempts to reduce waste produced by the local community. This contributes to water, air and soil contamination.

Furthermore, foreign tourism has a harmful influence on traditional customs and indigenous practices of host countries because many tourists are careless and insensitive about the emotions and feelings of local residents. For instance, in India, some foreign travelers wear inappropriate clothes or expose too much of skin when they visit sacred places, which leads to some negative attitude and irritation in the local public.

However, this situation can be improved adopting different solutions which could be handled by the government. The government should explain the benefits of international tourism which contributes to the development of local residents. They not only spend money in shops and restaurants but also create jobs in service industries, and this aspect could be publicized. Additionally, the government should increase the awareness among the foreigners through different media such as roadside billboards and advertisements, and tourists should be encouraged to get rid of rubbish correctly.

In conclusion, the inhospitable feeling that the local people have for international tourists can be explained in many ways. However, in my opinion, the government’s involvement is essential to change the negative attitude by citing various advantages of international tourism to their country and raising awareness among tourists in order to protect local habitats.

This essay covers the entire task topic by exploring both reasons for negative attitude towards international tourism and some possible actions to change it. The writer explains why locals may resent international tourists and suggests what steps can be taken to transform the way people feel about foreigners in their country. The information is well-organised by the use of paragraphing, and the writer moves from one idea to the next effortlessly, with the help of linking words. A wide range of vocabulary is used, including less common words such as “degradation”, “inhospitable”, “habitat”, “awareness” and “sacred”. Instances of inaccurate word choice are rare, and even these slips don’t cause difficulty for the reader. Overall, this looks like a Band 8 essay.

IELTS essay, topic: Advertising affects what people think is important and has a negative effect on their lives (agree/disagree)

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the advent of the Internet, advertisements, originally displayed only on TV, billboards, posters and so on, are becoming increasingly ubiquitous and commonplace for the general public. In my view, this kind of impact could be both crucial and, on a certain level, detrimental.

On the one hand, this phenomenon could denote that although we have already had a diverse range of advertisement, people are still capable of inventing innovative approaches catering for all kinds of requirements of advertising. It is a symbol that demonstrates the creativity rooted in human beings. Apart from that, it also represents that the speed of spreading information is conspicuously escalating. More purposeful is, therefore, the fact that, besides booming of the advertising, it constitutes a major reason why people could be so prosperous in this digital age.

On the other hand, there are various unpleasant consequences as well. Firstly, with the omnipresent advertisement, it could potentially cause people to do impulsive shopping. Secondly, the advertisement, if regulated in a mismanaged method, could make people constantly feel uncomfortable or annoyed. In this sense, instead of being an instrumental tool to promote amenities, advertisements could be considered a hindrance when people are frequently blocked by them. Furthermore, it would cost one precious time to have to sift the helpful ad from a host of others.

In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, advertising is a beneficial phenomenon for all with a number of insignificant drawbacks. I believe that in the future we can improve the way advertising is done at present, and embrace the positive influence of advertising even further in the long run.

This essay is another example of what Band 8 writing may look like. It’s weak point is that the author goes slightly off-topic while trying to discuss whether advertising affects what people view as important and instead talks about the reason advertising is spreading and about human creativity. However, the other part of task type (negative effects of advertising) is covered well, the ideas are well-developed and supported. There is a clear logical flow of information and a range of transitional words is used appropriately to sequence ideas. The way author uses synonyms to rephrase the task topic in the intro paragraph demonstrates their lexical skill, which is also evident in other parts of this essay. There are many complex sentences and very few errors. Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.0.

IELTS essay, topic: Senior managers should have higher salaries than other employees (agree/disagree)

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree?

While some believe that rewarding those in managerial positions with higher pay packets is appropriate, not everyone agrees with this view. Personally, I am leaning towards the latter position due to negative impacts caused by significant difference in salaries within a company.

For one, executive officers should know that higher than sufficient salaries are not necessary. Indeed, the higher the remuneration they receive, the more likely the company to suffer from devoid of financial capability. Furthermore, they often gain powers that money can’t buy. For instance, they often make important decisions over how to make their company thrive. They are also entitled to allocate company’s budget and designate tasks to other workers. In lieu of these non-financial entitlements, they should refrain from earning more than reasonable amounts as salaries.

Unreasonably high salaries granted to the executives can also afflict other employees. In fact, it is foreseeable that many employees would feel powerless or even disappointment when they find out about the huge salary gap between the executive officers’ and theirs. Accordingly, some may leave the company, and others may go on to strike and demand a pay increase. However, those actions hardly be productive nor worthy to do. Therefore, unfair salary systems like this would yield unhealthy working environment for both employers and employees.

In conclusion, I oppose to provide those in managerial roles with obscene amounts of compensation because it can cost the company its prosperity and discourage other employees to work hard. Thus it is recommended for the company to decide on the salaries of executive officers and general workers by adopting a more motivating salary system.

This is a good example of an IELTS Band 8 essay. The task statement is sufficiently discussed, and the writer’s arguments are relevant and well developed. There are only 2 body paragraphs, but they are coherent and help to organise the information. Linking words are used appropriately to sequence ideas. Skillful use of synonyms throughout the essay demonstrates the writer’s vocabulary. Some of the expressions used aren’t entirely suitable or accurate, but there aren’t many of them. Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.0.

IELTS essay, topic: The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden of working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the fact young adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.

There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent for vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of senior citizens.

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

This essay covers the task requirements, however some problems of aging population get only a brief mention. The linking of sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat ‘mechanical’ and could have been improved. Information sequencing and organization in paragraphs are done well. The range of vocabulary and the fluency of its use, as well as lack of errors are impressive. Overall, this is a good example of how to get Band 8 without writing a very long essay.

IELTS essay, topic: People should not work beyond the retirement age (agree/disagree)

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

In recent years, with the improvement in healthcare sector and better living standards, people are able to live longer and contribute to the economic progress of a nation more, compared to the past. Some see this as an entirely positive development, while others point out the drawbacks of working beyond the retirement age.

Delaying retirement enables individuals to actively contribute to the society. On a personal level, working past retirement age provides an avenue for individuals to remain not only physically but also mentally active. Moreover, this option empowers the ageing population to be financially independent and economically self-sustainable past retirement age. In countries with growing ageing population such as Singapore, for instance, citizens are given an option to work beyond their retirement age based on the demands of their job and their capability to handle these tasks. Hence, working beyond retirement age empowers workers, ensures economic progression of the nation, and alleviates the challenges faced by an ageing population.

On the flip side, working beyond the retirement age may result in adverse health impacts on workers and a decrease in productivity levels. In Japan, the suicide rates have recently been increasing due to rising stress levels at work faced by the ageing population who are pushed to work beyond their optimal capacity. Escalating stress levels from work leads to various health complications putting a strain on the healthcare system. Hence, working beyond retirement age may worsen the overall welfare of individuals and adversely impact the economy.

To sum up, though working beyond retirement age imposes health hazards leading to reduction in productivity levels, it seems to me that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. In my opinion, by assessing the capability of individuals and tailoring their jobs to their health profile, firms and companies should actively involve their workers to be productive beyond their retirement age.

This essay is an excellent example of IELTS Band 8 writing. The author presents sound arguments making his/her point of view very clear, examples are being used to support the writer’s points and the organisation of information is handled very well. There are some minor inaccuracies, however, they wouldn’t affect the score much in the real test. Well done!

IELTS Essay, topic: Teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents (agree/disagree)

School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that educators have greater responsibility in developing students’ cognitive and social aspects compared to parents. I absolutely agree with this notion, as teachers are well-trained to teach formal lessons. Aside from that, school is the best place for children to socialize and make more friends.

It is known for a fact that parents play a vital role in the upbringing of their offsprings. Nevertheless, educating them at home alone does not always mean leading them to a bright future. For this reason, it is extremely important that children be given a formal education. This is when school teachers come into play. Apart from providing a conducive learning environment, most schools constantly update their faculty with various contemporary methods of teaching through seminars and trainings. This approach has long been practiced in order to ensure that students can cope with technological advancements. Furthermore, practical exercises and laboratory experiments significantly help increase their problem-solving, logical thinking, and reasoning abilities.

With regard to social aspect, it is also at school where youngsters learn to interact with peers. Apart from their daily classroom interactions, varied extracurricular activities are likewise offered to them, depending on their interests. These can be scouting, sporting events, and other organizations, just to name a few. These opportunities basically enhance leadership skills, camaraderie, and teamwork, that may not be acquired at home alone. It is, therefore, not surprising that majority of friendships emanate from schools.

By and large, I strongly believe that when it comes to honing the overall academic and social skills of the youth, mentors have a more crucial role than parents. It is because they are professionally trained in performing so.

This essay seems worthy of Band 8. It would get a high Task Response score because all parts of the topic have been addressed – body paragraph 1 is on intellectual development and body paragraph 2 talks about the social development of students. The author organized information well, and used examples to support his/her points. The overall cohesion and coherence are achieved through skillful use of linking words and expressions. In terms of lexical resource and grammar there are some minor issues, however, they shouldn’t affect the score much. Well done!

IELTS essay, topic: Some people believe that preserving natural environment is crucial, but make no effort to do so (reasons and solutions)

Some people believe that preserving natural environment is crucial, however, most make no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that could help the environment?

It is commonly believed that preservation of natural resources is imperative, yet most people seem to exert no effort in doing so. Understanding the causes of this negligent attitude may help with devising some simple measures to safeguard the deteriorating environment.

Lack of awareness is probably the foremost reason why the vast majority of individuals appears to be unmindful of the current environmental issues. Normally, people have tendency to downplay abstract problems, or those that likely to happen in the distant future. This is because they are not properly informed of the possible detrimental effects of taking the environment for granted. To illustrate, residents in urban areas often deliberately dump their wastes into the nearby creeks and drainage canals causing them to become clogged. It is only when devastating floods strike, that they come to realize the consequences of their actions.

Some basic solutions that could be carried out are extensive awareness campaign through all forms of communication and strict implementation of waste management. In addition to the traditional press, social media is a powerful means of disseminating information regarding the impending disasters and their potential hazards. This is a good way of persuading the public to actively take part in the campaign. Another straightforward solution, and by far the least anyone can do to help save the nature is disposing of garbage thoughtfully. Apart from avoiding throwing trash anywhere, everyone should practice proper segregation of biodegradable, non-biodegradable, and recyclable wastes at all times. These actions, when coordinated by the local governments, can be tremendously successful.

In conclusion, while individual awareness is key to maintaining a healthy ecosystem, concerted efforts of governments and their citizens are much more effective in achieving such goal.

The response is well written, it contains reasons, solutions and fully addresses the task. The ideas aren’t repeated, they are conveyed in a clear and easy to understand manner and organized well with sufficient use of cohesive devices. The vocabulary is varied, sentence structures are complex and instances of incorrect grammar are hardly noticeable. Overall, this essay is likely to achieve Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Nowadays families move to different countries for work and some think it has a negative effect on children (agree/disagree)

Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Recent advancements, in technology and transportation in particular, are reshaping our world in an unprecedented manner. Nowadays, it is not unusual for people to work abroad. Most expatriates relocate their families to the countries they work at. Some people argue that this phenomenon negatively affects children, however, I agree with those who believe the opposite is true.

Those who think that relocating children to a new place is undesirable do so for many reasons. Their most common argument is the negative impact of moving on a child’s personality. There is no doubt that living in a different community comes with its challenges, especially to young people, as they get exposed to behaviours, actions and customs they might not be familiar with. As a result, children could possibly feel a lack of stability and some confusion. It is also likely that their patriotic feelings and sense of belonging to their home country could weaken as they would miss many opportunities to celebrate their national events.

Nevertheless, I firmly believe that opinion to be ludicrous, as it seems that getting exposed to a new culture is beneficial in many ways. It fosters young people social and emotional capabilities. Moreover, children living abroad have better opportunities to lean and practice new languages. Mastering more than one language improves not only their intellectual development, but also their opportunities in acquiring better jobs in the future. According to a recent study published by the University of Chicago, competency in more than one language increases employment chances on average by 200%.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that living in a different country positively affects children in all aspects. Acquiring new languages, and an open minded and tolerant personality are just few examples of the many possible benefits.

This essay presents a well‐developed position that addresses all parts of the task prompt. The writer’s ideas are relevant and well‐supported. The arrangement of information and use of cohesive devices are fine, perhaps with a slight overuse in the second body paragraph. Sentence structures are complex, and the vocabulary is varied and appropriately used, except for some minor grammatical/spelling mistakes. This essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Many people believe that reducing speed limits is the best option for road safety improvement (agree/disagree)

Many people believe that reducing speed limits is the best option for road safety improvement. Do you think there are other measures that could be put in place? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

One of the most conspicuous trends of today’s world is a colossal surge in the number of such vehicle accidents as cars, trucks and buses, all over the world, be it in impoverished or developed nations. There is a wide range of factors that account for why this is happening. In my opinion, this situation could be remedied, provided some effective measures are taken.

Measures to deal with this soaring concern are many; the most significant ones are not remote or complicated but accessible and practicable. The primary one lies in the fact that governments should take a firm stance and apply stringent rules and regulations to lower the speed limit. Secondly, using the electronic devices while driving should be forbidden by law. Finally, an awareness program could be initiated by individuals to educate the public about the catastrophic effects of unsafe roads and the projected enhancements for road safety. Only when convergent efforts from all sectors are ensured, can we expect to see considerable progress in tackling this problem.

There is a deluge of merits for implementation of reduced speed limits. High speed is likely to impose life threatening danger on people crossing the roads, due to the perilous nature of this hazardous speed with danger being an integral part of it. Not only does reducing the speed limits contribute to decreasing daily accidents, but it also raises the standard of driving. Needless to say, all these advantages have a far-reaching impact on pedestrian safety.

There are, however, some pitfalls that can easily overpower the potential benefits of limiting speed. The primary one stems from the fact that slowing the speed could lead to augmenting the daily traffic hours. Besides, it could also delay delivering sick and severe patients to hospitals. Hence, it is apparent why some individuals are against changing the standardized level of speed.

From what has been discussed, one can conclude that despite the drawbacks of reducing speed limits, the expected benefits of this measure are indeed far greater.

All the parts of the task have been covered fairly well. The response presents a well‐developed position that addresses all parts of the task prompt with suitable, widely covered and thoroughly supported ideas. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of task response. There are some mistakes in word choice and grammar. Nevertheless, the essay is up to the mark and is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents (agree/disagree)

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

It is true that parents need some knowledge and experience in order to raise their kids in an appropriate way. In this regard, many families attend different training courses. While I agree that these courses might be useful for some of them, I totally disagree with the recommended obligatory pattern of such training.

On the one hand, training courses usually offered by governments could be very useful for those guardians who have a kid with special needs. For example, if a child has a birth defect or has been diagnosed with any mental or musculoskeletal disorders, these kinds of training could be lifesaving. Additionally, as we know, the first few months after birth are really a crucial period of a child’s life; parents should obtain different information related to their child’s vaccinations, common health problems, different developmental issues and so on, which can be delivered through such training courses.

On the other hand, I believe that making these programs as a mandatory option would cause several problems for societies and individuals as well. To begin with, in order to achieve this goal, many professionals should be trained which may not be affordable for some governments. From an individual’s point of view, this kind of mandatory programs could be very time-consuming for some families who have other kids at home or who work long hours. The other important consideration is that parent training courses may not provide all the necessary information for each and every family. To be more specific, parents could get more beneficial information through different websites such as YouTube according to their own preferences.

In conclusion, although I believe that many families can take advantage from training courses, I do believe that making them as a compulsory option for everyone is too time and money-consuming for individuals and governments.

The introduction is very good and relevant. The writer’s position is balanced, relevantly and properly developed in two body paragraphs. The conclusion summarizes both sides of the argument and logically finished the essay. To maintain the necessary level of formality the word ‘kids’ should be replaced with ‘children’ everywhere in this essay. The use of prepositions needs more attention as some are inappropriate or incorrect. The length could be reduced – it’s not necessary to write a very long essay to get a higher score, and often it is better to write a shorter essay (no shorter than 250 words though!) but spend more time proofreading, correcting errors and improving the quality of writing. Overall this essay is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS Essay, topic: Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between the rich and poor, while others disagree (discuss)

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that modern technology is reshaping our planet and affecting every aspect of human lives. From a social perspective, many people argue that the gap between the upper class and lower classes is widening as a result of technological advancements. Others, however, believe the opposite.

There are several reasons why one could think that the wealth inequality is, indeed, increasing. The most common reason is the automation. Driven by technology, automation reduces the need for manual labour. As a result, less work opportunities are available for unskilled people. With each iteration of the cycle the competition increases and wages decrease. Secondly, technology has increased the minimum level of needs that should be satisfied. Nowadays, everybody should have a mobile phone and an internet connection, including the poor. This increases the monetary burden on them as they must borrow to cover these new needs.

However, I firmly believe that the aforementioned opinion is ludicrous. The most obvious reason is that modern technology has facilitated the road to riches in an unprecedented manner. For instance, many of the internet billionaires are from lower and middle classes. Moreover, the major leaps in agricultural technologies has magnified food production. As a result, food has become more affordable and available. Finally, leveraging technology has dramatically increased workers’ productivity. Consequently, compensations and salaries have increased.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that technology could possibly narrow the difference between social classes. Increased food production, opportunities and productivity are just few examples of technology’s contribution to bridging the wealth gap.

This essay adequately covers all parts of the task. The ideas expressed in this written response are relevant, well-developed, ordered in a logical way and supported. The paragraphing is suitable and cohesion is maintained throughout the essay. A good range of vocabulary and the writer’s fluency are evident. There are no spelling errors and very few mistakes in word choice and grammar, most sentences are error-free. The essay is likely to get Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Changing drivers age limits is the best way to reduce traffic accidents (from Target Band 7 book)

This essay was written on a topic from “Target Band 7” book (page 54, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Write at least 250 words

In today’s world the number of traffic accidents is constantly rising as well as the number of injuries and deaths they cause. A better regulative approach is required for traffic accidents can be reduced. Some people say that changing the drivers’ age limits is the best solution to the problem. However, there are other, more practical ways to deal with this problem.

One alternative is imposing heavier fines at the drivers who exceed the permitted alcohol consumption. According to recent datas, a great proportion of traffic accidents has alcohol as its reason. Utilising technology and installing devices that detect drunk drivers and lock car ignition can be used to keep people with track record of drunk driving off the roads. On some occasions and for repeat offenders in particular, a prison sentence may also be considered.

Furthermore, people should be better educated and more careful while behind the wheel. To be more specific, people should learn to obey road rules and respect the other drivers instead of causing tension or submitting to road rage. In addition, heavy fines should also be levied for exceeded speed limits. Last but not least, safer and wider roads should be constructed to make for easier and more comfortable driving.

Tightening age limits for drivers can be a complementary approach. For example, the elderly with vision problems or other important health issues should be excluded from driving. Besides, young people under 18 years old are considered immature to drive. However, maturity does not necessarily always increases with one’s age, which is why other measures are needed to reducing dangerous driving.

In conclusion, I believe that stronger measures should be implemented for the prevention of traffic accidents, and drivers should have a more responsible attitude. Setting age limits could be helpful but should not be considered the optimal and only solution to the problem.

The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. There is a logical organisation of information and effective use of paragraphing. The range of vocabulary is wide enough for the student to show flexibility and accuracy of expression. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made. The essay is up to the mark and is likely to get Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Dieting can change a person’s life for better or worse (from Target Band 7 book)

This essay was written on a topic from “Target Band 7” book (page 54, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruin one’s health completely. What is your opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Write at least 250 words

Some argue that dieting has an extraordinary impact on one’s life, whereas others are of a view that it absolutely adversely affects a person’s health. It cannot be denied that dieting taken to extremes may cause more harm than good, however, in my opinion effective dieting is pivotal for maintaining good health and keeping a more attractive body shape.

First of all, the possibility of increasing level of physical health lies with incorporating proper dieting in our lives. It is reasonable to suggest that dieting is effective for controlling our body weight within an ideal range in order to achieve the normal score of body mass index (BMI), which is essential for preventing us from being overweight or obese. As a result, the risk of suffering an obese-related illness will be reduced. A recent research concluded that dieting is one of the most effective measures to cut down one’s body weight among the obese group, and it helps to improve their medical condition indirectly.

Moreover, dieting is crucial for keeping ideal body features regardless of gender and age. A fit and presentable body outlook absolutely boosts up one’s confident level in his or her social life, not to mention professions that require keeping one’s body in an attractive physical shape. For example, dieting is adopted as a popular way for reducing weight among actors and actresses. A recent article reported that an actress who successfully regained her slim body after a period of dieting was offered an excellent job opportunity in the Hollywood film industry.

In conclusion, in my opinion dieting has a positive influence on one’s life in terms of maintaining a profound level of health and keeping a more attractive body outlook.

The writer’s opinion is very clear from the start and throughout the entire essay. Paragraphing is used effectively to organize ideas and information. The use of advanced vocabulary enables accuracy of expression and highlights flexibility. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made. The essay is a good example of an IELTS Band 8 work.

IELTS essay, topic: Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program, agree/disagree (from Target Band 7 book)

This essay was written on a topic from “Target Band 7” book (page 54, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Write at least 250 words

More and more young adults in our country are heavily indebted. Thus, it is considered by some that it should be mandatory to educate school children in the administration of money. In my opinion, people should not leave school without a sound knowledge of financial management.

To begin with, a country’s development is strongly depended upon the purchasing capacity of its inhabitants. That is to say, people who are in debt or financially vulnerable, would not be able to spend freely or invest, for example, in a new house, thus hindering the economic growth of the country. As a consequence, the rate of inflation would rise and people would be able to afford even less, which could ultimately result in the collapse of the entire economy. A good example of this vicious circle can be seen in countries such as Argentina, where people have to buy household items in the black market, because they cannot afford to buy them in regular stores due to skyrocketing prices. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to teach children early in money management.

Another point to consider is the low standard of living that people have when they mismanage their finances. Individuals who are constantly short of money could eventually end up being socially isolated and unhappy, because they couldn’t afford to participate in leisure activities, such as going to the cinema with a friend, resulting in their withdraw from social life. However, this could be avoided with ease by offering courses in money management.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that school children should be taught how to manage their finances to prevent social isolation later in their life as well as to maintain the economic force of their country.

The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. Paragraphing is used effectively to organize ideas and information, however the paragraphs could have been balanced better in terms of the amount of content. The advanced vocabulary the writer uses creates a good impression of mature and fluent writer. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is fine, and the number of errors is small. The essay could achieve Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Obesity is becoming common among children, give reasons and solutions (from Target Band 7 book)

This essay was written on a topic from “Target Band 7” book (page 54, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Write at least 250 words

For many years obesity was perceived as a condition occurring only in adult life. However, in recent years the number of children suffering from obesity has grown significantly. There are several causes and numerous solutions which can be used to tackle this worrying phenomenon, and this essay will present a couple of them.

While some reasons for childhood obesity are genetic, others include poor food choices exacerbated by easy availability of fast food, insufficient physical activity and a history of family members being overweight. Unlike the former, the latter factors can be changed, if the adults in the child’s life gain awareness and are willing to take action.

To begin with, health is a complex matter which requires a balanced approach. In other words, there isn’t a single solution to maintain health, on the contrary, it is rather a mixture of multiple factors, such as healthy dieting and regular physical activity. For this reason, increasing the awareness of healthy habits among children is a responsibility of utmost importance. What is more, it can be easily achieved through the education system.

On the other hand, children’s education might be not sufficient enough to stop the situation from worsening. Along with well designed health education schemes, we should also try to stop food companies from overusing sugar in products dedicated to the young ones. It has been proven that more than 70% of the products available in an average supermarket contain dangerously high levels of white sugar. Sugar rich diet not only causes a significant weight gain, but also contributes to diseases, such as diabetes in young population.

To summarize, emphasis put on the awareness of healthy living among children is invaluable. Furthermore, combining healthy habits with stopping food companies from overdosing sugar in products which are easily accessible for children can be effectively implemented by the governments. Positive outcomes of such measures taken today will definitely have a long lasting effect on the future generations.

This is a well developed response to the question. Relevant key points are included in the answer. Appropriate examples are also used to corroborate the writer’s point of view. Paragraphing is skillfully managed, information and ideas are logically sequenced. A wide range of vocabulary is used to allow certain flexibility and precision. Also, a variety of sentence structures is used. Accuracy of expression needs some attention (see corrections underlined in blue). Overall, the essay could achieve Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Nowadays more and more people want to live by themselves, why is this happening?

Nowadays more and more people want to live by themselves. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative trend?

These days a vast majority of people want to lead an independent life. The fundamental reason lies in people’s educational qualifications that fuel their craving for freedom in life. This can be seen as a positive trend because living alone is likely to nurture a mature mindset at early stages of one’s life.

Many people are well educated to stand up on their own. Tertiary education broadens their horizons, and they wish to experience freedom of life. With a very good educational background it becomes easier to find a well-paid job, and with lucrative income they gain confidence to lead an independent life, thereby achieving their goals. For example, engineering graduates can find a job in another town and their salary is enough for them to move and settle down there. This enables them to move away from their family and live on their own.

Living alone helps one to develop maturity, which can be seen as a positive impact on individuals and the society as a whole. Being independent means young people have to face life challenges alone and going through this process improves their resilience. They become more responsible, as they have to take care of themselves and develop budgeting skills and saving habits, for their future needs as well. Better planning of their finances nurtures the custom of wise spending at early stages of adult life.

In conclusion, the reason why many people wish to live independently these days is because their education level gives them both the awareness of freedom in life and means of achieving it. Since living alone promotes one’s maturity, it seems to be a positive trend in today’s society.

This response covers the task requirements by addressing the two parts of the question, why people choose to live alone and whether this is a positive trend. The ideas are clearly explained and supported, the information is organized in paragraphs in an easy to follow way, and the level of coherence is adequate. A range of complex sentence forms is used and there are no grammatical errors. Overall, this essay is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems, is this a positive or negative development?

Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples from your experience.

At present, the Internet plays a vital role in almost every aspect of human life. As a result, individuals are searching online in order to get reasonable solutions to their illnesses. Not everyone is convinced that access to such information online is safe and helpful. However, in my view, providing the general public with access to trustworthy information about medical disorders would invariably improve the quality of the medical care for the whole society.

Nowadays, even though there are plenty of online platforms have been developed for medical education, most of the sites have not been written by professional healthcare providers. Hence, there is a high possibility of spreading wrong medical information throughout the world, unless the site developers are held accountable for the content they provide. If patients receive incorrect information about a medical procedure and follow the wrong advice, for instance, to remove a wart at home, it might lead to a serious infection, excessive bleeding or another medical emergency. That would constitute a negative effect of using online knowledge for medical treatments at home rather than visiting a professional.

On the flip side, for the sake of the Internet, the society is well aware of most common medical disorders and preventive measures. Consequently, a reasonable and prudent individual can decide whether to get professional opinion on one’s disease or to handle it at home, providing that they get reliable online medical information. Moreover, if patients can manage mild medical problems themselves, it would certainly reduce the workload at the local hospitals, freeing more doctors for patients in real need. Besides, if patients come with a certain extent of knowledge about their condition to the medical consultation, it would invariably be helpful to the medical practitioner for effective decision making.

To sum up, it is evident that online search for information on medical disorders can be a positive development as long as the general public receives trustworthy information.

This response addresses the topic well. The writer’s position is clearly explained and supported, the information is organized in paragraphs in an easy to follow way, and use of linking words is appropriate. A range of complex sentence forms is used and there are very few errors in word choice or word formation (underlined in blue). Overall, this essay is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: Should employers pay more attention to personal qualities rather than qualifications?

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Recent decades have witnessed a burgeoning growth of numerous industries; therefore, recruiting the right person for the position is crucial to the development of enterprises. But how do we determine if a person is the best fit? Advocates of conventional recruitment methods opine that this candidate must have sufficient experience and qualifications needed for that job. Nevertheless, some people argue that candidates’ personal qualities cannot be ignored. In my view, both components are of equal importance.

To begin with, the conventional approach of checking potential workers’ qualifications via their resumes, LinkedIn profiles, issued qualifications and certifications from authorised organisations is vital. Apparently, whenever we submit a job application, we are always required to attach a CV while a cover letter is optional. Without a decent qualification, even if that candidate’s personal characteristics are suitable, the enterprise will need to carry out lots of skill trainings eventually.

On the other hand, occasionally during an interview some HR officers ignore the significance of assessing how candidates’ individual qualities can fit in the company. Employers should assess not only candidates’ qualifications but also their enabling skills, ethics and value propositions. The more an employee’s personal qualities fit in a company’s culture and values, the more he or she is motivated to contribute to that company’s vision. KPMG is a great example of evaluating candidates’ personal qualifications and skills by utilising a game-based assessment process, followed by a video interview. This methodology enables a comprehensive assessment, and is embraced by many companies nowadays.

To summarise, employers should assess both personal characteristics and formal qualifications when recruiting people as each of these elements has its own vital contribution to make in talent-seeking enterprises.

This response covers the topic well. The writer’s position is clearly expressed and supported by an example, the use of paragraphing makes this essay organized and easy to follow. Linking words are used appropriately. The use of complex sentences and advanced vocabulary is impressive. Overall, this essay is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.

IELTS essay, topic: What are the difficulties of learning a foreign language, and how to overcome them?

Many people believe that learning a foreign language is a very difficult task. What are the most difficult things about learning a foreign language? What is the best way to overcome them? Explain and include your personal experience or knowledge of these problems.

It is true that acquiring new language skills is by no means an easy task. Language learners might encounter several challenges such as unfamiliar accents or grammar structures in the learning process of a foreign language. However, in my opinion, such difficulties can be tackled by a well-rounded education system.

When it comes to languages, it is undeniably crucial to get used to a native accent and intonation for effective communication. However, picking up an accurate accent can be enormously difficult, especially for adult learners because of their lack of language learning ability. If a language learner has an unrecognizable accent and intonation, they would not be understood by native speakers. On top of that, each language has different grammar and typical grammatical sequencing of words. For example, Korean sentences always end with verbs whilst English does not, which means that a Korean English-learner should consider about the correct order of words.

Despite the aforementioned difficulties, I strongly believe that everyone can master a foreign language when a couple of feasible steps are taken. Firstly, it is more important than anything to start learning a new language at a young age. By incorporating foreign language programmes in the primary school curriculum, children can easily be exposed to languages of the world and eventually acquire language skills without difficulties. Secondly, the government can financially subsidise schools to run student exchange programmes that help adolescents to get experiences abroad and make friends overseas while improving their foreign language in a delight way.

In conclusion, I believe that individuals can have difficulties in learning a new language because of different accents and unfamiliar grammar, however, these problems can be overcome by a good quality of education system subsidized by governments.

The writer covered the task by talking about some difficult aspects of learning a new language and steps to overcome them. The ideas are presented in an orderly way, their logical sequencing and the use of paragraphing make this essay easy to follow. Skillful use of linking words and expressions helps the writer maintain coherence and cohesion. Word choice needs some more attention in this essay (see suggested corrections for expressions underlined in blue), however, overall this essay seems to be worthy of IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Some parents encourage young people to leave home while others think they should stay with the family, discuss and give your opinion

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the tremendous influence of modernisation, remarkable changes have taken place in the family structure to such an extent that nowadays, youngsters are motivated by their parents to live alone as they grow up. However, some people are of the view that it is more practical for a youngster to live with their family.

On the one hand, there are many positive aspects to youths living away from their parents at young age. This provides the opportunity to young people to live a life on their own terms and make any decisions without the interference of their parents. Besides, living alone not only makes them independent but also makes them self-reliant, which is a crucial life skill to their successful career. For instance, managing all the house chores such as cleaning, paying bills, cooking and so on will make them well experienced at learning and managing diverse activities and will also boost their confidence.

On the other hand, there is no denying the fact that youngsters living away from their family may find themselves in circumstances that may adversely affect their life. Naïve and inexperienced young people in the absence of parental supervision are more likely to fall prey to bad influence and dangerous activities, such as drugs or alcohol consumption, which may jeopardise their career or lead them astray from moral values. However, this situation is less likely to take place with youngsters still living with their parents. Besides, emotional bonding and family relationships can be maintained better if everyone is living together under one roof.

In my opinion, although encouraging youngsters to live alone may lead them to learn various life skills, negative aspects and risks associated with living alone can far outweigh the benefits.

This response covers the task topic well, by discussing the positive and negative aspects of living alone as a young adult, and the writer’s opinion has also been included. Paragraphing helps to present ideas in an orderly way, and cohesion and coherence are maintained throughout the essay. There is some repetitive use of the word ‘make’ in the first body paragraph, which could have been avoided. Apart from that, the writer’s vocabulary seems to be quite rich and allows them to communicate ideas precisely and clearly. Overall, this essay seems to be worthy of IELTS Band 8.

IELTS essay, topic: Nowadays people waste a lot of food, why is this happening and how to reduce waste?

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?

At the time when famines heavily strike impoverished third world countries, many people living in wealthy countries waste tremendous amounts of food daily. In my opinion, understanding the probable reasons of this phenomenon is important and may lead us to some applicable solutions that will result in reducing food waste.

The low cost of food seems to be one of the obvious reasons, exacerbating the problem. Due to the revolutionary technological achievements, people have increased both the quality and the quantity of their crops. In turn, according to the laws of supply and demand, the prices of the crops have immensely dropped. A recent study of the FAO stated that the global crops prices have dropped 50 per cent over the last decade. This enabled people to buy excessive amounts of food without a real need.

Furthermore, the absence of strict regulations to discourage or punish this attitude can also be considered a major cause. Not everyone is aware that wasting food may create problems. Consequently, they are likely to resist any calls for controlling the consumption of dietary supplies unless they are forced by the power of law. Several countries in the world saw a drop in their national food waste after implementing a ban on the excessive purchasing of food.

Fortunately, there are some possible approaches that can be adopted by both people and governments. Firstly, raising the awareness of this issue is immensely important. Using social media platforms can draw public attention to the potential dangers of food waste and how communities can confront it. Secondly, enforcing laws that prohibit the wasting of food by people and companies will deter such harmful practice.

In conclusion, the decreased price of food as well as lack of regulations allowed the unfortunate trend of throwing away food to continue. I believe that creating awareness and legislation are parts of a straightforward solution to this issue.

The writer explored the reasons for throwing away food and suggested some solutions, effortlessly conveying his/her ideas in this well-written IELTS essay. The information is presented in an orderly, logical and coherent way. A wide range of vocabulary is used in this written response. The sentence structures are varied and the vocabulary is impressive. Overall, this essay could achieve IELTS Band 8.

Note: the essays are checked by an IELTS teacher, not an IELTS examiner or examiner trainer. All the bands are approximate.

How To Write An IELTS Band 8 Essay

Essay samples are useful to get an idea what a Band 8 essay looks like, but how can YOU write a Band 8 essay? As you know, an IELTS essay is scored using 4 criteria:

1. Task Response
2. Coherence and Cohesion
3. Lexical Resource
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Many test takers are unsure what is wrong with their essay, why they keep scoring Band 6.5 and how to take their writing to Band 8 level. Is that how you feel, too? Keep reading then, because we are just about to analyse a Band 6.5 essay and show you what to change in it, to get a Band 8 score in IELTS.

Colors show elements relating to each criterion that affect the Band Score of this sample IELTS essay. Hold mouse over highlighted words (or tap on mobile) to see the comments, suggestions and corrections.

IELTS Essay Analyzed And Rewritten From Band 6.5 To Band 8

IELTS Essay Topic: Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

IELTS Sample Essay – Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion and Lexical Resource Analysis

Nowadays, money is one of the most significant materials in our lives. To many people, it is appropriate to marry for money rather than love. However, I believe that both love and money should be bounce together in any marriages.

Certainly, money is an important part in our lives [TS]. It is hard for any persons to accept a partner which* does not have money or at least a job to take care of future family. Hence, said “marry for money” also has its right in some extent.

However, love should be the root of any marriages [TS]. Firstly, it is because love is such a glue to connect two persons which have their own lives, become one (NC). So, they can share each other’s the sadness, happiness to overcome any difficulties in daily lives. Moreover, love makes people growing up because they do not only have responsibility to themselves, but also to their partners as well. That is why marrying with love is always encouraged.

In my opinion, I think that both love and money is both necessary [TS]. Marriage relying on money would be rapidly disintegrated when unfortunately the money is run out. In contrary*, marriage relying on love would sometimes come to end when they could not earn money to carry out family (NC), such as paying bills, buying food, etc. Therefore, love and money should stand together in marriage even though their contribution could be unbalanced (NC).

As we have seen, marriage without either money or love would come to an unhappy ending. So I believe that they both have their own contribution to a merry family.

1. Task Response Analysis: This essay follows the task requirements quite well. Both points of view are discussed (in paragraphs 2 and 3) and the writer’s personal opinion is offered (in the introduction, paragraph 4 and the conclusion). The opinion is clear. The paragraph on money is not very well developed and not entirely clear.
Approximate score for Task Response: Band 7.

2. Coherence and Cohesion Analysis: Most linking expressions are appropriate but two are not (see asterisk *). Coherence is concerned with the effectiveness of what the essay is trying to communicate. The essay is well structured – each paragraph announces its topic clearly [TS] and the introduction announces the opinion of the writer. Sometimes the ideas are not entirely clear inside the paragraphs (see NC). Also the writer has a tendency to be repetitive.
Approximate score for Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.

3. Lexical Resource Analysis: The use of vocabulary seems quite reasonable but attempts to use a wider range
are not always successful (see corrections above). Probably not quite good enough for a 7.
Approximate score for Lexical Resource: Band 6 or 6.5.

The same IELTS Sample Essay – Grammatical Range and Accuracy Analysis

Nowadays, money is one of the most significant materials in our lives. To many people, it is appropriate to marry for money rather than love. However, I believe that both love and money should be bounce together in any marriages.
Certainly, money is an important part in our lives. It is hard for any persons to accept a partner which does not have money or at least a job to take care of future family. Hence, said “marry for money” (#5) also has its right in some extent.

However, love should be the root of any marriages. Firstly, it is because love is such a glue to connect two persons which have their own lives, become one. So, they can share each other’s the sadness, happiness to overcome any difficulties in daily lives. Moreover, love makes people growing up because they do not only have responsibility to themselves, but also to their partners as well. That is why marrying with love is always encouraged.

In my opinion, I think that both love and money is both necessary. Marriage relying on money would be rapidly disintegrated when unfortunately the money is run out. In contrary, marriage relying on love would sometimes come to end when they could not earn money to carry out family, such as paying bills, buying food, etc. Therefore, love and money should stand together in marriage even though their contribution could be unbalanced.

As we have seen, marriage without either money or love would come to an unhappy ending. So I believe that they both have their own contribution to a merry family.

4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy Analysis: Although the essay is quite easy to follow, it has too many grammatical errors in too many sentences to merit a 7 score (see corrections highlighted above). The range of grammatical constructions used seems quite good.
Approximate score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6 or 6.5.

Improving the Sample Essay to Achieve an IELTS Band 7

The same essay now at around a Band 7 level might look something like this. Read it carefully and compare it with the original:

Nowadays, money is one of the most significant materials in our lives. To many people, it is appropriate to marry for money rather than love. However, I believe that both love and money should be combined in any marriage.
Certainly, money plays an important part in our lives. It is hard for any persons to accept a partner who does not have money or at least a job to take care of their future family. Hence, it is said, “marry for money” is right in some extent.

However, love should be the root of any marriage. Firstly, it is because love is such a strong bond between two persons who have their own lives, and become one. So, they can share each other’s sadness, happiness to overcome any difficulties in their daily lives. Moreover, love makes people grow up because they do not only have responsibility to themselves, but also to their partners as well. That is why marrying for love is always encouraged.

In my opinion, I think that love and money are both necessary. A marriage relying on money would rapidly disintegrate when unfortunately the money ran out. In contrary, a marriage relying on love would sometimes come to end when they could not earn money to carry out family duties such as paying bills, buying food, etc. Therefore, love and money should stand together in marriage even though their contribution could be unbalanced.

As we have seen, marriage without either money or love would come to an unhappy end. So I believe that they both make their own contribution to a merry family.

If after reading these sample essays you are still missing something and can’t write at Band 8 level, don’t panic. We have a book that can help to improve your grammar and sentence formation, teach you how to connect your ideas better and give you a wide range of appropriate, higher level vocabulary.

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sample Band 8 Essay

Choosing a future career requires careful consideration. While some people claim that adolescents should be able to pursue a career they would enjoy, others oppose to that, arguing that teenagers should aim for a high-paying job in order to secure a livelihood when they grow up. Given that our life consists of more than just physiological needs, I strongly believe that it is vital to fulfill one’s potential in the career fields that are most compatible with their interests.

The youth who choose highly skilled jobs may find it easier to have a fruitful future in a materialistic sense. It is true that some professions, such as engineers or doctors, are well paid and offer more stability compared to work in other, non-professional fields. For example, psychologists usually have higher starting salaries compared to artists; they also rarely lose their jobs in recessions. People who prioritise earning a living might agree that a reliable job is a must for their future and by no means will they take risks to gain employment in a field they are passionate about, that doesn’t pay well.

However, it is worth remembering that we are living in a rapidly changing world and the concept of a ‘guaranteed future’ is unrealistic. Even the smartest of us aren’t prophets and it is impossible to foresee many changes in job markets in the future; some high-salaried jobs of today may no longer exist by the time our young people become adults. Therefore, people may choose to pursue their dreams and follow career paths according to their passions and interests now, to avoid having regrets later in life.

Having considered the reasons to prefer monetary remuneration over one’s interests, I am convinced that it would be a pity for youths to limit their career choices to highly paid jobs of today. Unforeseen changes in the jobs markets may affect salaries but won’t change the pleasure one derives from doing something they love.

Teacher’s comment: The writer discussed both sides of the argument, expressed his/her opinion and presented relevant arguments to support it. This essay has good structure, main ideas are organized well and conveyed coherently. The writer has a good range of vocabulary, and most sentences are free from grammatical errors. Overall, this is a very good essay and seems worthy of Band 8